Substitution

I recently attended a dinner party comprised of three married couples, a single male friend, and myself. Somehow, the subject of the various forms of online communication was brought up - email, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

We had organized this dinner via Facebook and email, and at least half of us have blogs, so we all understand the appeal of them. It was the use of Twitter we debated. One of the other women tried it, didn't really get it, and stopped tweeting pretty quickly. I was the one who taught the other singleton about it a few months ago, because I do use it (as my real self), regularly. No one else had really even tried it, so of course they don't understand it.

One of the husbands said something to the affect that whatever he has to share that he might tweet about, if he tweeted, he just shares with his wife. He may have added another comment, but I can't remember at this point. Whether he meant to or not, his subtext was that maybe I wouldn't need to tweet if I had a spouse to talk to, that I was substituting my lack of romantic life with an online one.

I took the bait and told him that maybe he was right. I do live alone and have my own office at work, seeing only one or two people in person a day on average, so maybe I do need an online outlet to get my daily connection fix. We all shrugged and the conversation changed.

Then I got to thinking about it. Maybe he is right. On the other hand, maybe he isn't. Yes, the internet, in all its outlets, is my primary form of communication these days, but I'm generally talking to people I know in real life. My boss and colleagues and I communicate via email, as we all work in different buildings in our local metropolitan area. Trixie, Roxie, and I chat online almost everyday. My extended family writes emails to each other at least weekly (my immediate family I do talk to on the phone). My Tweeps (followers on Twitter) and Facebook friends are mostly actual friends and we rely on the internet to communicate around the globe. I'm not just posting to the void, I'm talking to actual people I know and love, and a few friendly strangers who are listening in.

I don't think this will stop when I have a boyfriend or husband. It hasn't stopped for Roxie. Many of the other people I read via blogs or Twitter are married or otherwise involved. So, for this husband, it's not his way of communicating with the outside world, but it is mine and there's nothing wrong with that.