Monday, November 23, 2009

Do I look okay?

I think I'm attractive. Physically. I'm not drop dead super model gorgeous, but I am pretty. I have some natural good looks and I know how to enhance them with makeup, clothes, and well-coifed hair. This doesn't mean I look perfect every time I leave the house, but I usually try to at least make an effort. I do tend make more of an effort if I know I'm going to around single men I would want to attract.

Great, right?

Not so much. I can't remember the last time a young, single man complimented me on my looks. I know it's happened, but it's been far too long. Of course, it concerns me. Have I gained too much weight? Am I not wearing enough makeup? Am I just not pretty? It's unnecessary to worry, but I still do.

So I have to rely on other sources of compliments to remind me that I do look good. My parents say it, but there's always that grain of salt I take that with, since they're my parents - they have to say that. Sometimes my girlfriends tell me, even unsolicited at times, and that is helpful, as they are not required to say anything.

Additionally, there are the married guy friends I know, the guys in my life who aren't morons because they are in successful relationships and know how to treat a woman right. Just the other day, one such friend was squeezing past me and said "Pardon me, gorgeous." I didn't even register what he said until he was out of earshot for thanks and had to confirm with the woman next to me that I had indeed heard that. I'm just not used to hearing it and wasn't at all expecting it.

I also have memories of the single guys who have complimented me and wanted me and kissed me. If I were totally unattractive, those experiences never would have happened.

Of course, the opinion that matters most is my own, as I'm the one who has to look at me the most. If I'm not happy with the way I look, I'm the one responsible. I'm not about to opt for plastic surgery, but I can exercise more, change my clothes, and make sure my makeup is as enhancing as it should be. I truly do feel better about myself when I'm taking care of myself.

All of these opinions are truly important, and I'm grateful for them. But, I'm not going to lie, I really want someone I find attractive to tell me how nice I look, especially when I've taken to the time to put myself together. I'd like to say that it's me I'm applying this makeup for and wearing the shirt that flatters my jiggly midsection, and sometimes it is. M0re often than not though, it's for the guys, since I'm just as happy in my brother's basketball shorts and my flannel shirt* as I am in that dress.

So, men, even if you're not interested in a particular girl, but you do recognize she's attractive, compliment her. On her dress, on her hair, on her overall look, or whatever it is that caught your eye. It will brighten her day, I guarantee you.

*I'm not crazy. Even for me, I will not wear that particular ensemble out of the house, except for maybe to the trash can. But it is really comfortable.