Sunday, November 8, 2009

Not exactly complaining.

Sorry this is late! It's been a busy day. :)

Tonight I went to a birthday party for a friend--a small gathering of mostly women, all of us single and over 25. It was really nice, actually. I had a lot of fun talking with people in similar situations: we're all trying to figure out life on unexpected terms without becoming bitter and angry about things we can't control.

It's not easy, but it's not as hard as it could be if I didn't have any perspective.

What it comes down to is a shift in attitude. There are so many things out of our control, so many things we can't change, and so many things that just don't matter. Does it really matter that we're "too old" for some men? Is it that big a deal if we're not attractive to some men? After all, there are some men out there to whom I am just not attracted, as good as they may be. There some men who are, indeed, too old for me. I can't very well change my basic bone structure, and I don't want to dye my hair or start wearing more makeup (or, for heaven's sake, a push-up bra constantly) just to be attractive to someone who isn't attracted to me to begin with. I refuse to lie about my age just so someone won't freak out about dating me.

Conversely, I don't (and shouldn't) expect perfection out of anyone I date. It's not fair. I have a good set of baggage and to insist that the men I date be baggage-free with perfect hair and ripped abs is completely unrealistic and will only make me miserable. I know too many women who are deluded into thinking that someone like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp is going to fall head over heels for them and their imperfections, and they're sad and bitter because they've never found a Brad or a Johnny...and it shows. Didn't someone once say that we shouldn't expect to marry Mister Universe if we're not Miss America?

Well, I'm not Miss America, and I'm not going to marry a Mister Universe. And you know? I'm ok with that! There are some things I want to improve and things I need to work on, and I'm grown-up enough to be realistic in my expectations for others. Does that make me upset or angry? Nope. Not a bit. It is what it is, and I'm pretty sure that the man I marry will feel the same way; otherwise, I wouldn't be attracted to him. I'm so glad that we have a loving Heavenly Father who created us with imperfections and weirdnesses that will be attractive to someone else!