Monday, February 22, 2010

Let me be interesting

We recently had some boundary changes in our stake that resulted in almost doubling the ward we are now in. The Relief Society scheduled an activity where people could get to know each other, a "speed friendshipping" with refreshments. It's the same idea as speed dating, but you don't get any dates out of it.

It made us talk to a lot of people within a short period of time. They provided question prompts if we needed them or we could talk about whatever we wanted. One of the questions was about hobbies and interests. I came home and told HP to make sure I'm more interesting than just kids and scrapbooking.

Now, I fully expect to be interested in my kids lives and be a part of what they do and support them in whatever interests they have. And I have nothing against scrapbooking either. But is that really all some people can say about themselves?

There are certainly exceptions, but I feel that one of the blessings of not getting married when I was 18 was that I had more than a decade to figure out who I am as an adult, to develop my life, to build interests, to even have a few interests that I'm no longer interested in. I've developed a pattern of noticing the world and being a part of what's going on around me. I read books on different subjects. I enjoy watching Nova on PBS. I keep up to date on the latest news around the world. When HP and I went out for a Valentine dinner last week, the conversation hit on so many topics I couldn't count them. I hope our dates out always involve more topics than the kids and the shopping list.

Just let me always be interesting.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


I've been thinking about names recently.

When we were dating, we would often use each other's names when talking to each other or emailing each other. Using someone's name adds emphasis. It personalizes what you are saying. It makes it just for that person. "I love you" is always a powerful phrase. But adding in the person's name to it makes it even more powerful.

For some reason though, we kind of stopped doing it after we started being together all the time when we were married. Recently, we've started again though. Some nights before bed we'll add our names to our nightly "I love you." Even now it really makes a difference. Names are powerful.

Which brings me to my other thought on names. They are powerful. They are meaningful. They are a representation of who you are as a person and the family and heritage all of that carries with it. And they are not to be taken lightly. Getting married is definitely a time to think about names and I made it clear from the start that I was not changing my name when we got married because I was not changing who I was completely. I am very proud of my name. I'm proud of the family it represents and the heritage I have with me because of my name. We live our lives to bring honor to our family names and the people who had them before.

The more I thought about it that way, it changed how I thought about last names and marriage. I don't want to say that I "took" HP's last name from him, but rather that he "gave" it to me. In essence it's saying, "I love you and know you will never do anything with my name that will ever dishonor it. I trust you with my name, what it stands for, and who I am." Now, that might be a bit extravagant, but I really like the feel of it. I know not everyone looks at it that way, but it's how I am looking at it.

There is definitely power in a name.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Facebook - The Portal to Awkwardness

Facebook has proved to be a wonderful tool for keeping in touch with people. I remember when we would move when I was growing up, my friends and I would promise to write each other all the time and never lose track of each other and be friends forever. We wrote maybe two or three letters. And at this point I'd actually have to go ask my mom what my friends' names were when I was a kid because it's been that long.

But now... people who I barely remember can look me up and ask to be my friend. Some of them it's real fun to connect with again. Others, there's probably a reason we haven't talked in at least one decade if not two.

Old boyfriends are especially weird to find on Facebook. Although it does help to give HP a face with the names of all the funny stories I've told him of my escapades in dating.

There are also the people who just don't understand how the whole online socializing thing works, or when to let go. Take for instance, the poor girl who found a friend quiz application on Facebook and started asking questions about HP with it. Questions like, "Do you think HP has ever flirted with anyone?" or "Do you think HP is attractive?" or "Do you think HP has a nice smile?"

Now, I know this girl. I know she's not completely there and probably doesn't realize what she's doing and she's just clicking things thinking this computer stuff is pretty cool. But at the same time, it's real weird for me to see another girl answering those questions about my husband. Not in a threatening kind of way, just in a weird possibly not appropriate kind of way.

So he's blocked that application. Now he won't come up in her rotation of answering questions about her friends.

Oh that it were as easy to block people and situations in real life as it is on the computer!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Maybe I should just take a nap

At the end of the last couple of days, I have been Little Miss Crankypants. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm really tired. I'll be working at least 60 hours this week, which is highly unusual, and I can't imagine how exhausted I'm going to be by Saturday night if I'm already this tired. Maybe it's because my usually decent cooking skills are severely lacking the last couple of days and not only did I have to throw out an entire batch of soup, but I couldn't even get the replacement ramen to turn out right. I ate a bowl of cereal and am considering just living off the stuff this week.


There is also the usual lack of hugs in my life. That's pretty much what the crankiness amounts to: Too much work, not enough hugs. I really miss being held at the end of a long day. Still, I persevere. The hugs will come.

Note: I wrote the above on Monday night. I'm feeling much less cranky now (Thursday), but, as predicted, I'm even more tired. You know you're tired when you can't even stay awake in your dreams! I dreamed last night that I was at the dentist and a few other places, and I kept falling asleep!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

We're not even trying!!!

HP's family seems to be playing a fun game now. Something along the lines of what-random-thing-can-we-twist-to-assume-Roxie-is-pregnant. I think they get points the more random the association is. We aren't even trying to get pregnant yet! And when I am pregnant, we won't announce it with random associations. We'll most likely just call them up and tell them, kind of like how we did when we got engaged.

So while I've found this great book and would love to talk about it where I'm less anonymous, I can't lest they assume I'm pregnant.

My family, on the other hand, isn't making such assumptions. In fact it was my sister who recommended the book to me. My mom knows we're both reading it, but talking to my mom about it, it seems like she thinks it might be a bunch of quack. But it isn't.

So what is this book? It is a book for every person with a functioning uterus (ie, females between puberty and menopause) who wants to know what is going on when and what it all means and what their hormones are doing. And honestly, what woman doesn't want to understand all that better?

The book is called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's used a lot by women trying to get pregnant. It's used by women who are looking for effective and safe methods of birth control that don't involve chemicals or that type of stuff.

But it is also for women who would just like to know what's going on in there. You can use it to track everything uterus related and know exactly when your period will start, if you have an infection or not, if your bleeding is normal or if it's something to get checked out. You can track PMS symptoms and know when they are coming so you can be better prepared to handle them (by stocking up on chocolate).

It's an owner's manual for the female body. I've been amazed at all I've learned reading it, and I've had this body for more than 30 years now. I wish I'd read this book years ago!

But you see, if I were to mention this book in a place where HP's family could see, they'd assume we were using it to get pregnant. Which we probably will at some point. But right now we aren't even trying.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Getting married when you are "old"

I gotta say, there are a lot of advantages to getting married when you are not just entering adulthood. As we've watched kids around us get married, one of the biggest benefits to getting married later is money and your budget.

When HP and I sit down to talk about money and budgeting, our discussions are more along the lines of how quickly we are paying off our house rather than do we get ramen this week or can we splurge on "cup-o-noodles." We've passed the cup-o-noodles stage of life. We got through it on our own. If the worst happens and we're back there again, we'll already know how to get through it. And that's definitely a big benefit.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Nobody likes me!!

How many times have we all thought that? Especially when it comes to relationships (or being a teenager). But if I really think about it, it's not quite true. It needs to be expanded to "Nobody I like likes me!!" and then it's true.

HP and I had three friends get married within two months of our wedding, and attending each of their receptions was very interesting for us. As we left the first one HP turned to me and said that the groom definitely had a thing for me. Which is not something you should be saying about someone who just got married. But it was probably true. Thing is, the guy never had a chance with me, for a lot of reasons. So he liked me, but he wasn't someone I ever thought of more than to associate his name with his face.

There have been several guys over the years who liked me or would've pursued me if I'd let them. But none of them ever really had a chance. And I'm sure the opposite was true more than once as well, that I liked guys who I never had a chance with either.

And I've also had friends who spent a couple of years liking each other at different times, he'd like her and she'd be ho-hum about it, and then he'd get over it and she'd like him. They finally managed to like each other at the same time and have been married for over six years now.

So it's not just about being liked, it's about being liked by the right people at the right time. That's a lot to coordinate.