Don't take it out on me anymore!

I try to be positive, and I try to keep my posts on-topic (what it's like to be single in your 30s in my neck of the woods), but today I am very frustrated, again, with my job.

I don't get paid very much--it's enough to help family and stay out of debt and put a little aside--and lately I certainly feel like it's not enough to justify putting up with some of the passive-aggressiveness around my office. (just watch--this will get traced back to my work computer and I'll get fired...)

I keep track of hundreds of files and appointments, not to mention the confidential information that crosses my desk every day. I diffuse tense situations that sometimes have the potential to turn violent. I calm employees down (INCLUDING our director, who has acted unprofessionally far more often than I have). I field phone calls. I manage our database, and don't get me started on the mess THAT was when I began this job! It has taken me several months to get that thing in a mostly-organized condition. I am the only person who bothers to clean up the staff room. I am also the only person who routinely works 9 or 10 hour days; granted, I have an hour lunch break every day from September to May, but May through August I don't. I, quite honestly, get all the crap the second it walks through the door or calls on the phone. I get the brunt of almost everything that happens in this office, every day.

I don't dare take time off, not even to be sick, because I'm afraid that would make me "unreliable" like the part-timers are. In fact, the last day off I remember taking was my sister's graduation back in August. I am the only one in the office taking less than 4 or 5 days off during the holidays, which is why I'm working today. The office manager takes an afternoon off at least every couple of weeks to "go shopping for supplies" and doesn't even get here until 9. She routinely leaves early because she's "not feeling well" (We all get cramps...some of us deal with it). She expects me to dress professionally but shows up in stretched-out t-shirts and cargo pants. She hates my job but I often feel like she's trying to get me fired or force me to quit, which seems silly because it would be counter-productive for her because she'd end up doing my job. She also tattles on me if I'm late by even two minutes from a lunch break (or if she hears I walked in a 8:02), but does she talk to me about it? No. She goes to the director, who goes to the assistant director, who comes to me about it. No wonder I have a hard time liking or trusting her, and that can't be good for office morale.

All this when one of our part-timers is lying about their hours, always calling in sick, and messing things up when they're here.

I'm pretty sure this place would fall apart if I took more than two days off in a row.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one with access to the database who 1. doesn't tweak the numbers so we get more money (thank you, Office Manager) and 2. hasn't totally messed up the records.

I'm pretty sure, today, I have to fight to remain positive and professional and to actually do my job.

I'm pretty sure it's a dead-end job.

I'm pretty sure to remind myself I'm lucky to have it.

I'm pretty sure I haven't been late as many times, or as drastically, as has been implied by someone who isn't even here when we open.

I'm pretty sure that any job full of this kind of back-biting and passive-aggressive attempts at vengeance and ensuring job security isn't worth it.

I'm pretty sure I don't get paid NEARLY enough to keep putting up with it.

I'm pretty sure I'll be gone in 6 months.