Sunday, November 29, 2009

The year I was 0 for 4 first dates.

Remember that topic Jinxie suggested? The one that got replaced by this post? Turns out I remembered what I was originally going to write about that day, and here it is!

Last year (2008) I had the opportunity to go on four dates. I don't date very much at all, you see, and I never really have, so last year was interesting. Three of the four dates were blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, and not one of them was really worth a second date for me. Nice enough men, but too many things that didn't gel, and that's ok. I don't think I'll write about them, because I do not want to be unkind in any way, real or imagined. Let's just say that I'm glad there was only one date from each of them (even though I actually dropped the ball with the nicest of them, which is a shame). :)

The fourth date was with a friend of a friend. (Do you know how hard it is to come up with code names for people that aren't so specific I'll give myself away, but that aren't so vague that I forget who they are...?) Q is a dear friend of mine and is very talented in many ways. He invited me to join him and some friends for a movie night in September 2008. I showed up to the basement apartment (a hazard of living in an area with two universities within 12 miles of each other) and realized I was the only girl there. This was not a new situation to me--I went for several years being the token female in a couple of apartments, which is always fun and a little unnerving. What was new was the company. Besides Q, I didn't really know anyone there except Reed, who I had met the previous month at another party. I ended up on the couch between Reed and Q and started gently flirting with Reed, joking and making him laugh. Eventually we walked over to Reed's house for pizza and another movie, and he found out that I'd never seen "Firefly". At the end of the night, he suggested getting together sometime to watch it together and I heartily agreed.

A couple of weeks later, he got in touch with me about his proposed date, and we made plans to meet at his house and get some Indian take-out. While our meal was being prepared, we walked around, enjoying the mild weather and some fun little shops down the street from the restaurant. He seemed to like watching my interest in the silly things I'm interested in, and listened with patience and, I think, some enjoyment, to me talk about something important to me. Our food smelled WONDERFUL in the car on the way to his apartment and tasted even better when we got settled in front of the TV. I really enjoyed talking to him and listening to the things he was passionate about, and "Firefly" totally delighted me. At one point, I put my head on his shoulder and he played a little with my hair. It was such a great date, even though I'd had a tiny eye infection from my contacts and couldn't wear any makeup OR my contacts, so I felt a little homely.

He hugged me goodbye and we made tentative plans to get together to watch the rest of the series soon. I drove home smiling--I'd finally gone out with someone attractive to me who had enough similar interests to keep the conversation from lagging or getting awkward. He didn't think my opinions were too strange or too strong. I loved listening to him talk about what he wanted to do with his life. I really looked forward to our next date.

Well, the next date never happened. I ran into him at an event a couple of weeks later and found out he was dating someone else. I was a little disappointed, but I focused on how great our only date had been and realized that, even though things didn't happen the way I wanted them to, it was still great. When I found out he and his girlfriend had broken up, I was sad for both of them.

I don't think I'll ever go out with him again, but I know that whenever I see him, I can be friendly and kind with no bitterness about what might have been. That's a great feeling to have! Here's to more dates like that, and here's hoping at least one of them turns into something a little more significant! After all, it's been a long time since I was kissed... ;)