Friday, November 26, 2010


I caught myself whining today, feeling sorry for myself and starting down a mental and emotional path that could potentially trigger some self-destructive behavior. I've been down that road before, and it's hard not to give in some days, but I know I'll be happier if I don't shut down and spend days in my room...especially this time of year.

It's not easy to be alone for the holidays, even when you're surrounded by family. It's not easy to want a relationship with a particular person but never see it happen. It's not easy to be responsible for everything and have no one with whom to share the burden. It's not easy to be happy for others all the time.

However. All these things CAN be done, and they can be done without pulling those triggers that lead down unwanted and unpleasant paths. It's a lot more pleasant to have a quiet Christmas with your parents than to wake up one morning and realize that you haven't been happy or social for days because you're feeling sorry for yourself.

Here's what I think:

If I can't get motivated, start doing SOMETHING.
If looking at the world around me is hard, look more.
If the internet is too tempting, stand up and walk away.
If I'm feeling trapped, move furniture.
If I'm feeling sad, find reasons to be happy.
If I can't seem to get anything done, complete one simple thing.
If I wander around at night because I don't want to sleep, take some melatonin and leave a light on if I have to.
If getting up is hard, get up anyway and do some squats.
If eating is unappetizing, find something appetizing and eat it.
Read your scriptures.
Take care of yourself.
Watch Christmas movies.
Call your grandmother.
Do something creative.
Remember who you are.


Roxie said...

There have been days recently where I've realized how easy it would be for me to spend the entire day in bed. And it's been a huge temptation to just not deal with the day for a bit. On those days I have to force myself out of bed to get outside and run. The day isn't necessarily any better after that, but at least I'm up and trying to face it.