Monday, November 15, 2010

Just Because I'm Single Doesn't Mean I'm Not Busy

Perhaps I sometimes overreact to things, especially when I've been under stress and haven't eaten in more than three hours, but it irks me when it seems as though people assume I have a lot of time just because I'm single.


I don't answer my cell phone at work unless it's family or I feel strongly that I should. In fact, I rarely check my voicemail until after I get home from work. I have gotten surprised reactions from people when I tell them that I was at work when they called, as if they didn't expect me to be holding down a full-time job. One of them even said, "Oh, so you're a nine-to-fiver, then." Well, yes. I have been for a while now, and sometimes it's even eight to six! Someone has to pay my bills.

Sometimes people corner me at church and act surprised when I tell them that I can't go to their book club or help with a funeral or meetings at assisted living facilities on weekends because I take some classes or sub in the temple or have family obligations.

Other times, someone will ask me to put something together for a ward party and is slightly confused when I say I don't really have the time to do so.

Once, and I think I may have referred to this in a much earlier blog, a woman I grew up with was visiting the ward and said, when I told her I was tired and busy in response to her asking how I was, "It's all that partying!" No. It isn't. Believe me.

Sure, I'm not as relatively busy as a women with five small children or toddler twins, or someone who works full-time and then comes home to her kids, but I still have a schedule. There are days I don't get home until 14 hours or more after I leave in the morning. There are days when I have to be in two places at once and put a lot of miles on my car. I have previous obligations and things to do at home, and just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm irresponsible.

Like I said, maybe I overreact (I need to watch myself and work on that), so it's nice when people understand that when I say no, it's not just out of stubbornness or unwillingness. Most often, when I say no, I mean that I really, truly can't. The flesh is willing, but the calendar is full. Besides, if I sat at home all the time feeling sorry for myself, that wouldn't be very attractive or productive, right? :)


thursday5child said...

I'm glad you don't answer your phone at work. I get more people who are shocked that I don't answer my cell phone all the time. Sorry, I'm at work to work. If I answered all my phone calls and texts , I wouldn't get much done.
And good for you for knowing when to say "no". My biggest pet peeve is when people say "yes" and don't do it or do it half-heartedly or with much prodding.

Roxie said...

YES! I hated that. People thinking I had all the time in the world because I was single. I had work. I had school. I had a home to take care of. I was busy! I didn't get together with my married friends often because they were too busy, instead we didn't get together often because I was too busy.

And I'd be willing to bet that you are just as busy as a woman with five kids or twins or work and home. You are just busy doing different things because your life is busy.

Go ahead and overreact. If more people overreacted then maybe more people would get the hint. Single does not equal unlimited free time.

Hilary said...

I often hear people say that other women who don't have children have so much time on their hands. Honestly, I think the mother of one child has the MOST time on their hands (but they seem to be the ones who are so darn busy). I think we all have the same # of hours. I mean, look at our husbands, they're ALWAYS busy and we're doing almost all their "work" for them. :D

mormonhermitmom said...

You are absolutely right. People shouldn't assume you "aren't busy" because you're single. If anything I've found the singles are MORE busy than most.