Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I Have Found My Limit

The other day, as I was shopping for jeans (an impossible task), I got a call from an older friend of mine. She had approached me weeks ago about the possibility of being set up by her and I had said that I was open to it. Mostly. When most people offer to set me up, they don't realize exactly how old I am; I have caught several off-guard when I say with forthrightness that I am almost 36 because I am invariably mistaken for being much younger. Many people are thinking of their sons or nephews or friends who are in their mid-twenties when they offer to set me up. It's kind of funny and a little endearing that they think I'm still 25. In any case, this sweet friend called and told me about an unattached man in her ward who has three boys. As she was telling me about him, I thought, "Ok, this could work, I've been out with guys with young kids before, no big deal." She kept talking, though, and I could feel my willingness just shut down completely when she said, "He's 49 and his oldest son is 17 and lives with his ex-wife."

Turns out I have really found my official age and situation limit. 49 is just too old for me right now, and a 17-year-old son is too much. Give me five years, though, and it might all be fine, but not now. Not at all. I have to break it to her gently and kindly and gratefully, and I always hate doing that because I DO feel bad.


Roxie said...

That strikes me as a good limit. It's not bad that you have to have limits like that. We all have things that we can't do, and not just in dating.

Jennifer said...

I never found that blind dates worked for me, although I was always hopeful. I'm shy and quiet, though, and friends always tried to set me up with someone else who was "quiet, just like you!" Um, yeah. Not a good formula for a blind date.