Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tithing (un)Settlement

There are some conversations you can just never really plan for. Today was one of them. And it happened during tithing settlement of all places.

I attend a singles ward. It often feels like the main purpose of church in a singles ward is not to teach the Gospel, or the salvation of souls, but rather to get as many people married as possible. I imagine bishops of singles wards getting together at annual conventions and bragging about how many people from their ward got married that year.

I went to talk to my bishop about tithing. We took care of that, it took all of maybe 30 seconds. Then he asked me how things were going with Kitt. (I usually take bets when I go talk to the bishop about whether Kitt will come up before or after the real reason I'm there, because he always comes up.) And honestly, I'm not sure how they are going. I think they are going okay, but I really don't know what direction they are going in right now. So I tell the bishop I don't know. And he seems surprised. Maybe he and Kitt have talked about things that I haven't heard yet. I don't know.

So then the bishop tries to figure out what is going on that Kitt and I aren't getting married yet. I wonder if bishops in singles wards are kept up nights wondering why their ward members haven't managed to get married yet.

This is where things get real weird, the bishop asks me if things are okay physically, if maybe we have some problem in that area. Awkward! I stumble through some explanation that things are definitely okay in that area, that we are doing just fine there, but that it's not going so "well" that we would have to confess to him about any of it.

Um. Yeesh. Yup. That was weird. Not what I was expecting at all.