Friday, November 28, 2008

Online Dating

This is just one example of why I won't do online dating and why I have recently deleted some of my accounts:

My name is ______, I am a new person in this site, I'm a fun and energetic guy looking for someone to spend time with and hopefully grown with into a relationship. People say that I have a sense of humor and that I'm fun to be around. I love to laugh, and I love making people laugh. I consider myself a good listener and enjoy great conversation. My family and friends are very important in my life, and I spend time with them whenever I have the opportunity. My music taste is very eclectic, ranging from alternative and classic rock to 80's music and current pop. I love sports, both watching on TV and going to games, but I'm also a guy who loves sappy, romantic movies. I like going out on the town and also love quiet times at home.

I'm looking for an honest and beautiful lady, who has a passionate heart and a kind soul -- someone with a rugged side, who's still in touch with her emotions. I love a great sense of humor, but need someone who can be serious too. Basically, I'm looking for a lady who knows who she is, loves life and wants to share her life with a guy who has so much to give.

You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust, Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. If it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet.

I will lovely to know more about you and you can send your reply to me or you meet me online for yahoo messenger for instant chatting, I will be very glad to hear from you soon.


Now, on the face of it, it sounds a lot better than the message I got telling me I was a gift from God and a lovely angel, but look at the paragraph about love. This is not a paragraph a woman like me takes seriously from someone who has never met me. This is not a paragraph I expect from anyone but close friends with whom I'm having the kind of late-night, deep conversations that come after many bonding experiences, or from someone I'm dating and with whom I've come to that "let's talk about our issues" moment. This is not a paragraph that will make me take more than a cursory glance at a message from a stranger on a site I rarely frequent. As a matter of fact, this kind of "advice"/line/what-have-you is unappreciated and unsolicited and will automatically result in complete and total dismissal of anything resembling seriousness. In his favor, it was (mostly) a well thought out message. It's not his fault I hate online dating and don't even know why I signed up for it in the first place.

I just get defensive when people tell me how to feel, especially when they don't know me. I have good reasons for this that I won't go into here, suffice to say that unless you've lived my life or are someone I trust implicitly, you don't get to tell me how to feel. Especially if all you saw was a picture and three sentences of an online profile.