Thursday, November 20, 2008

That one percent

Ninety-nine percent of the time I am perfectly fine with my current social situation. I have an interesting life that keeps me active. I enjoy what I do.

But there is that one percent.

I would say that a large part of that one percent comes when I have to interact with people who are not satisfied with my social situation. They seem to forget that it is my life, not theirs. But that is not the topic for right now.

The other half of that one percent is different. Everyone has ups and downs in their life. Everyone. We enjoy the ups. We work through the downs. And we move on. We shoulder our loads and keep going. Except when you can't. Sometimes it's just too heavy right then. That's when I don't like being single.

This week I had several major deadlines hit all at once, with several more coming in quick succession over the next few weeks. And it is really weighing on my shoulders right now. And at that end of the day I would love to have someone I could set things down with for a bit. Or someone I could hand off some of the small and mundane things to for a while. Because when I am stressed like this, the small things just don't seem so small. I think that's probably why I was near tears this afternoon over a small detail about a trip next month. It has been resolved now and I ate more chocolate, so it's smoothed out now.

Sometimes I just get tired of doing everything alone.

Taylor Swift (I believe country music has the best love songs) has a new song out, "Love Story." It's stuck in my head lately. The last verse speaks to this a bit for me.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"

One of these days Romeo will get here. In the meantime, there might be some things I drop because I can't carry them all myself at the time. As long as I don't drop the chocolate, I'll be good.