Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Singlehood and holidays

I hate songs like "Winter Wonderland" and "Let It Snow". They glorify being in love during the holidays, something I haven't experienced in far too long. Even when I was in love during the Christmas season, there was no conspiring by the fire. He lived with his parents, and I lived in a dorm. However, it was December when we first dropped the L-bomb. I have other fond Christmas memories of other boyfriends, but it wasn't love.

I don't wander around hating Christmas or people in love. Just those songs. In fact, I love Christmas, but I choose to focus on the Savior and my relationships with my family and friends. Therefore, I prefer songs that reflect that.

I could have used having a boyfriend last week. I live thousands of miles from my parents and it just isn't feasible to go home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had plans with a friend, and then I didn't, and then I had an offer from another friend. I had other friends expecting me to come visit them, so with that last offer, I headed out of town.

Rather than go back and forth between going and not going and being alone and not being alone, it would have been a lot easier if I had someone who was always there and committed to me. Still, I was doing okay for most of the weekend.

Then I saw the couple I was staying with cuddling on the couch. Even though they have little teeny arguments sometimes, I could tell in that moment that they really loved each other. Then the friend I traveled with and I stayed with another couple, who were also clearly in love. And, as I was drifting off to sleep on an air mattress in their dining room, my friend called his girlfriend. He missed her and left the type of voicemail I haven't received on my phone in who knows how long. Even the other friend we gave a ride to cuddled with someone over the weekend.

I was surrounded by couples, and I missed being part of one. As cheesy as it is, I certainly wouldn't mind having someone to build a snowman with and name him Parson Brown.


Roxie said...

I've never really had someone I really snuggled with during the holidays either.

Right now though, I'd settle for someone to help me get lotion on my back so I don't dry and itch like usual during the winter.

Jinxie said...

I think that every morning. I can reach every else, but not there.