Friday, June 19, 2009

Where do I belong?

This is when it's good to have a place where I can be anonymous. Because I'm not complaining. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm simply getting words off my chest.

About two and a half months ago I wrote a post comparing some people in the area to some characters in the Wizard of Oz. I just didn't feel like I fit in with them. The Boyfriend got a kick out of the analogy but doesn't remember the flying monkeys in the movie. He thinks they must be pretty cool.

Recently I was reading a book about communities and how they create an espirit de corps. For each group there is a type of initiation into the group. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I really don't belong in two of the major communities in my life - where I work and the social group around me. I know people, but I definitely am not a part of the group. And that's hard at work. And might be why I still miss my old job. But I've never really been much of a social person and so that hasn't been too big of a deal for me for the most part. There's never been any kind of initiation for me into those groups.

So then it gets to be night and I start to wonder why I'm not a part of everything. Am I really as weird as a flying monkey? What could I do differently? And even, why does it bother me? And the most important question - why isn't there any chocolate at my place?

And then I remember that I am loved. I do have friends, they're just slightly spread out across the country. And I go to bed and things look better in the morning.


Jinxie said...

I know you weren't looking for sympathy, but I wanted to say that I hear ya. I really do.

TRS said...

Hey - me too.
My friends are all spread out. Sometimes I wonder why I stay in this city - but even if I moved back 'home' most of my friends would still be elsewhere.