Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's not because you're short

First of all, congratulations to Roxie! I could not be more excited for her and HP! I've also been reminded in the last few days that wedding plans are lots more fun to talk about when they aren't accompanied by "you know, whenever".

Now, on to my real discussion point.

There's an episode of Grey's Anatomy where a man comes in with incredibly infected legs, a result of a surgery in some foreign country designed to give him a few more inches. He'd been short his entire life and is convinced that he'll have better success in his romantic life if he's taller, like his brother.

His brother, finally fed up with this brother's whiny and negative attitude, snaps. He yells something like "It's not because you're short! It's because that's all you can talk about! You're constantly whining about how short you are and no one wants to around all that negativity!"

I'm here to tell you, he's exactly right.

I've had two such experiences. One young man was a few inches shorter than me, another in a wheelchair. They were both convinced that any hesitancy they were experiencing from the opposite sex was because they were short or wheelchair bound.

I will admit that yes, I would prefer an able-bodied man who is taller than me, even in heels. But it's not a dealbreaker. Not even close. If we're a match in every other way, I will look past the physical. What I can't look past is someone who constantly oozes negativity and desperation.

We all have our physical imperfections. The difference is what we choose to do about it.


Jennifer said...

I am reminded of a guy I had a crush on when I was in college. He was short and round, but the most amazing person. I really admired him - but being shy, I only admired from afar. One night a group of us were hanging about at my apartment and we got to talking about some famous LDS guy. The famous guy was good-looking and successful, but had made some not-so-impressive lifestyle choices. My roommate had just finished saying that she was looking to marry someone with more devotion to the gospel when the guy I had a crush on abruptly said, "But if (famous guy) showed up at the front door with a ring none of you would turn him down, would you?" And then he went on to comment rather bitterly about not being able to get a date because of being "short and fat".

My first impulse was to blurt out, "I'd go out with you in a heartbeat!" but I caught myself, too shy to actually let the words out. Instead, all the girls in the room just stared at him, none of us saying a word, too surprised (I think) to know what to say. The gathering broke up rather awkwardly after that.

I've always regretted never telling him how much I liked him. I wish I'd had the courage to ask him out. It makes me sad to know that he thought so poorly of himself, and I never did anything to let him know that I thought so highly of him. I don't know what happened to him. I hope he met someone wonderful who adored him as much as he deserved.