Huh

I had a post all planned out for May 29^th. I think I even asked Roxie way back in February if it was weird that I was planning a post so far in advance. I debated writing it in advance and just setting it to automatically post itself, but I decided to wait until that day. I figured I would be able to best describe my feelings about the day on the day itself.

The day came and went without me even thinking about it.

Until today.

And I’m actually perfectly okay with that and even consider it a victory for me.

Why?

May 29, 2005, was, arguably, one of the worst days of my life. It was the day the man I thought I was going to marry told me he didn’t think we should. I don’t remember the exact conversation, except that he did most of the talking. I was too much in shock. Granted, things between us had been tense for the two or three weeks leading up to that night, but I didn’t think he was going to end it completely.

But he did.

And I haven’t had a boyfriend since. Four years without anything lasting more than a few weeks. It’s sometimes a little hard to swallow, but I remind me that someone else loved me once. Someone else will again.

As for the day, I approached it with trepidation in 2006. In 2007, I remembered the anniversary on that day, possibly with a small dose of sadness. 2008 – I probably remembered it on or around that day, but only with a twinge of sadness.

This year? I knew the day was coming up, but it came and went without nary a thought for more than eight days.

Next year, I’m hoping for at least two weeks.