Thursday, June 11, 2009

Jaded Judging

I have a really bad habit when it comes to observing other couples. It stems a lot from this little incident, and I know it's wrong, but I still do it.

I wonder if he really loves her.

See. I told you it was bad. I really do it though. I watch them interact, I see pictures, and I wonder if he really loves her. If he really loves the life they have together, and, if there are any, the kids. I wonder if this is what he imagined it would be, or if it's better than that.

Sometimes, it's obvious. They're head over heels and life is grand. Sometimes, I'm not so sure. Then I realize that it's not my relationship and most certainly not my place to judge, so just why in the world am I even asking myself this!?

It's gotten better. It helps when I know the couple, or at least half of the couple. Still, I hate that my trust issues with the guys I date have bled over to other couples. It's not fair to them, especially if I don't even know them.

So, if you're in a relationship (dating, married, whatever) and I've judged you, I'm sorry. I would never do anything about it if I thought he didn't love her, unless, of course, the relationship was abusive in anyway. And one day, I'll be happily married, less angry about the whole dating game, and stop projecting all of my issues onto other people.

At least I hope so.


TRS said...

I totally understand.
I have a similar people-watching reflex that I've been working on a post about. It has to do with... "what makes THEM so special"??!

Real Christian of me isn't it?!!

Jinxie said...

Another thought I sometimes have is slightly more optimistic, though still a little back-handed is "Well, if those two can find love, by golly so can I."

If I had someone to distract me from the people watching, it would be easier to keep such thoughts in check. :)

Roxie said...

Oh boy. I do that one all the time. It alternates between giving me hope that there has to be someone for me, and envy that they got what I want.