Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Communication isn't dead

As someone who has had a very long string of dates/encounters/not quite relationships that failed due to a complete lack of communication and a dearth of honesty, I am really enjoying how well my new guy and I communicate.

(Sidenote: He needs a nickname. I'll work on that.)

I really appreciate how open he is about how he's feeling about his past, his present, and, most especially, us, and that I can do the same. We had a really great discussion last night about how neither of us are dating anyone else and we don't want this to end anytime soon, but he's not ready to ask me to be his girlfriend just yet. He only got out of his last long-term relationship a week before asking me out, and it had ended so badly that he just wants to take his time this go-round. In fact, he brought the topic up, all of his own accord. This isn't the first time we've had an open discussion about us, and I'm just so thrilled that we already having such good talks about our relationship. As you know, I hate playing the guessing game and it's discussions like last night's that remind me I really don't have anything to worry about right now.

Sure, sometimes he teases me mercilessly and doesn't always tack on something shmoopy when saying hello in the morning, but then we have quiet and honest conversations about where we're headed and he hugs me so completely that I know we're okay.

In this age of texting, Facebook, and all manner of instant gratification, it's wonderful to find out that it hasn't completely killed heartfelt communication (though I do recommend Single Blonde in the City's thoughtful post on the matter). I had wondered, before this relationship started blooming, if I was ever going to have long conversations late into the night filled with both laughter and tears and really connect with someone again. The last time I was in a truly serious relationship, Facebook was still brand new and only open to certain universities and texting hadn't quite taken off the way it has now.

But we do talk, openly, and it is fantastic. I know him well enough and am comfortable enough in this relationship to know that the fact he wasn't talking much at dinner last night was because we were in a loud sports bar with over 50 televisions. It was no reflection on me at all, even though he teased that maybe he brought me there because he was tired of hearing me talk. However, I can tell the difference between his teasing voice and his honest voice and this was definitely the former, especially since it was coupled with his mischievous grin.

Silly boy.

There really is something different about this one, and I'm loving it.


Single Blonde in the City said...

This is exactly what I am hoping/wanting....someone willing to make the effort to be well-rounded in communicating! I'm not opposed at all to the different ways we can communicate now (texting, social media, etc). I just get frustrated that too often the guys that I date seem to have lost the art that is normal, engaging conversation. So happy for you that things are on a positive path.

Roxie said...

Dearth! That's one of my favorite words. There is an almost constant dearth of chocolate in my life.

I love talking. I love relationships built on it. It's wonderful.