Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday Night Reflections

There's something about Sunday nights that make them particularly hard. No matter how successful my week may have been, Sunday evenings often find me reflective and sometimes even a little sullen.

Growing up, and when I lived close to my parents, Sunday evenings were family time, even if it was just sitting around trading sections of the paper. On the nights we didn't spend entirely together, we always made an effort to at least eat Sunday dinner with one another. They were special meals, a little nicer than the rest of the week. Even during some of family's more stressful times, I don't remember arguments about whether or not we were to attend Sunday dinner, we just did. Later, we'd often play a game, watch a movie, go for a walk, or just sit around and gab. It was rarely anything spectacular, it just was. So now that I'm on my own, I miss those times. Holidays are the expected hard time for singles, but Sundays are a close second.

Last Sunday, I enjoyed the quiet of my home, as I'd been on a weekend long trip with several friends from church. I'd spent quite some time talking with my current crush (it sounds so high school, but it's apropos) on this trip, for which I was grateful, and I'd also made several new acquaintances. I just needed some time to recharge, alone, before my week, so I didn't mind coming home to an empty house.

Today, however, is a little different. I had missed all the social events of the weekend for a business trip I arrived home from late last night, so I was looking forward to seeing my friends today. I saw and visited with my ward crush before and during church, but I spied him talking to the same girl for the entirety of our monthly after church meal. Just chatting, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Tonight, I had plans to watch a movie with a girlfriend, but she wasn't at church and hasn't responded to any of my attempts at contact. None of this anything to worry about just yet. It's just the standard response to any social disappointment and it just happens to be on a day I often feel a little more alone than others.

Fortunately, I took Trixie's recommendation and recently finished reading A Single Voice. If nothing else, it reminds me that I'm doing the right thing in making the most of my single time and trying to improve my attitude about life. I can't always control my social life, but I can control quite a bit of my personal life. This week, I'm going to make a better effort at that. I'm going to clean my apartment (again), exercise more, and study my scriptures.

My life is good. And, hey, at least I had complete control of the remote tonight.


erinannie said...

Oh you are so sadly right. I live alone, nowhere near family. Sundays depress me. From sitting alone at church, in my family ward surrounded by younger-than-me-moms and their crying babies, then going home to... nothing. There are weeks where I just hate Sundays.