Tuesday, November 1, 2011

You're doing it wrong

I apparently did it wrong.

Lately I've heard two people say things that are often said in one way or another, and honestly, I think it's those people who are wrong, not me. I'll talk about the other person later

Last week I was at a youth event and one of the other youth leaders told one of the teenage boys that every dollar he spends on a girl before his mission is a dollar spent on someone else's wife, implying he shouldn't spend a lot on girls before his mission. Which was odd. Because every dollar a guy spends on a girl before his marriage is a dollar spent on someone else's wife, not just before his mission. It's a weird way to look at it anyway because until a guy marries a girl, some other guy is spending money on his wife. So really, stop worrying about it already and go date! (if you are over 16)

However the leader then went on to say that a young man who recently got married had "done it right" because he'd only dated one other girl after his mission before getting married. Is that really the "right" way to do it? Not all of the adults standing around know that HP and I got married in our 30s, but he did. He'd known and watched us since I moved to the same town as HP about four years ago.

So I followed up by asking him if he thought HP and I had done it wrong since we'd dated a lot of people after our missions before finding each other and getting married. Which flubbed him up a bit and he had no answer so he had to pretend I hadn't said anything.

Truth is, we didn't do it wrong, because there is no one right way to do it. Good for that couple that got married that fast. But I wouldn't have done it any other way for us. There is no wrong way.


erinannie said...

There is no right or wrong way. Wow, that would have set me off. Or at least I'd find the first chance I could get to set the kids straight that there are nor right or wrong ways! That's actually pretty offensive to those of us who are still single. That person really needs to rethink that one!

Roxie said...

I'm a youth leader as well, and they all have heard and will hear again that I did not do it that way nor did I do it wrong.

It's amazing how many things people say without realizing just how wrong and offensive the things coming out of their mouths are.