Saturday, July 10, 2010


In over a decade of dating, I can count on one hand the number of times I've given a guy a my phone number. You know what I mean. So you can imagine my delight on the rare occasion it happens. It's quite the compliment. Even when you're walking from your office to the neighborhood deli and some random guy says "Hey, your smile just made my day, can I have your number?" Of course, I'm not going to give it to THAT guy, but when there is a mutual spark, you both recognize it, and you exchange contact information, it's pretty sweet.

The last time this happened was at a local burger joint in May. He initiated the conversation by joking about being in my way while I was waiting for my food.

"What, from staring at the grill?"

And it continued from there. When my food arrived, I decided to see how he would respond to my indicator of interest.

"I'm Jinxie, by the way."

And then he shared his name. I realized I didn't have my phone (odd, that) or any cards on me, and even though he'd been fiddling with his phone earlier, he offered his email address, since it was pretty easy.

I should have realized this was a sign. He later tried to say he was trying to judge if I was just being friendly or if I'd really been flirting, which I'd thought I'd communicated by telling him my name. He should have more fully taken the bait.

Twenty-fours later, I emailed him. Said hi, said it was nice to talk to him. He added me on Facebook almost immediately. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

"It was nice talking to you too. Dinner sometime?"

"Love to."

"Restaurant A or Restaurant B?"

"I love restaurant A, but I've never tried B. Either sounds good to me."

"Great! When?"

"How about Wednesday or next weekend?"


For a week.

The next Thursday, the day after the first evening I'd given as an option, he started chatting with me on Facebook. After the usual pleasantries, he said he was going to lunch, "but since I'm out in A City Farther Away, I probably won't run into any certain cute girls while I'm there."

Umm, okay.

Later that afternoon, he IMs me again. I ask him how his lunch.

"Great, but I think the server was flirting with me. But she wasn't a certain cute girl, so I wasn't into it."


"But I think this cute girl is out of my league. Looking at her profile, she's so adventurous. She travels, she's artistic, she probably thinks I'm boring."

"You can't be a complete bore. She probably wouldn't talk to you if you were."

But all he told me when I told him that I needed to sign off was not to be a stranger.

Right then.

He's since un-friended me.

I know it can be hard to chat up a girl, but, really, what part of yes didn't he understand? I gave him all green lights, and yet he convinced himself that I couldn't possibly be interested.

This is one of those times I can honestly say it's his loss.