Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Third Wheel

I have been blessed with married friends who have sense on how to "deal" with singletons. By deal, of course, I mean treat like normal people, friends who see me as everything I am including a singleton. I also like that I'm friends with both halves of the couple and feel equally comfortable talking to either of them. It's not awkward being the "third wheel" if I don't have anyone to bring around. I think it helps that with the two local couple friends I see the most, I met both of them around the same time and that I've known one of the couples since we were in high school (and they weren't a couple yet). He used to have such nice hair . . .

I recently bonded with another married woman. We met a few years ago and see each other regularly, but for various reasons haven't clicked until the last few weeks. I honestly feel like I've wasted so much time not getting to this know dear friend before, since we just clicked once we really started talking, but I'm thrilled to have her in my life now. Of course, now that we ARE friends, it didn't take long before I met the husband I'd heard so much about.

I don't think he knew what to do with me.

When I visited their family last week, we were properly introduced, but only moments later he told his wife, not me, that her friend needed to move her car since the neighbor was complaining. I don't think he even looked at me the rest of the time I was there.

I was concerned for the next several days that it was going to always be like this. I'd heard such wonderful things about him, and my friend loved him, of course, so I hoped it was just that I was new to him, not that he didn't like me or was concerned about my personal status. (e.g. Oh no! Single female! Married man! Inappropriate!). If I'm going to part of her life, I'd like to get to know her whole family too, just so that we're all comfortable around each other.

I didn't get a chance to talk to my friend about it before I arrived again last night. I was staying at their house for the night, as I'd flown into the airport near their house quite late and didn't want to make the drive all the way home at that hour.

Fortunately, it was much nicer experience. As soon as my friend and I entered, he asked how I was, and then showed me around the room I'd be sleeping in. This morning was equally cordial.

I was glad that I worried for nothing. I hope we can even be friends eventually.

The good news is that I've never had to worry about my friends' children liking me. Even this couple's 3-year-old warmed up to me unusually fast, or so I'm told.

I hope that when I am married, I can return the favor my married friends have given me.