Thursday, December 10, 2009

My life is not my own

A young man died in a cave in Utah recently. Those kinds of stories are always sad for me. A young life cut short. But it was the line that started, "He is survived by..." in the news article that really got to me. Aside from parents, siblings, and friends, he left behind a pregnant wife and a small daughter.

I almost teared up reading that sentence.

Before getting married, my life was mine. I could set my schedule. I decided where I went. I decided what my goals were and how I pursued them. And if I were to die I would leave behind friends and family, but it would not greatly changed the identity of anyone. My parents would still be parents. My siblings would still be siblings.

But that's all changed now. I still set my schedule, I just make sure someone knows about it now. I'm still me, but there's someone who it effects now. And now, if I were to die, HP would not just lose a friend, he'd lose his wife and he'd be a widower. He'd have a whole new label to who he is.

Whenever I have heard stories like this young man in the cave before, I always felt that I've spent enough of my life alone already, I should be able to get to spend a lot of time not being alone now. I don't want to tell someone what they should do with their life, but there's a part of me that breathes a sigh of relief when he tells me he thinks his scuba and sky diving days are over.