Friday, July 31, 2009

Meeting the Parents

I met HP's parents very early on in our relationship. In fact, it was part of our first date. But then he also met my grandpa and some surrogate parents of mine that same date. The third time he and I were able to get together he met my parents and siblings and I was able to spend time with his parents, siblings, aunt, and nieces and nephews (they were having a family reunion).

So I've spent time with them. I know them. I'm friends with his siblings on Facebook. His mom and I have emailed a bit. His mom and my mom have called each other and talked about us too.

And yet, I'm nervous about seeing his parents again in a few weeks. The last time I saw them they were just his parents. This time they'll be my future in-laws. That's big. And I'm finding myself wondering what I should get his mom as a gift for when I see her this time. What would be appropriate? I know this shouldn't be anything big since we have already met and spent a full day together (at the family reunion), but my brain isn't quite comprehending that.

Meeting the parents of the person you are dating is always an interesting thing. Since college, it's only happened two other times for me.

The first time, oddly, was after he and I had already broken up. I was neighbors with his brother and sister-in-law and friends with them. So when they were getting ready to move I went over to help watch their kids while they packed their truck and cleaned. His parents were there to help as well and I went to dinner with the family afterwards. That was a weird one.

The second time, I actually knew his mom before I knew him. It was ALWAYS awkward with her because I could never tell if she liked me or despised me at that moment. She would change how she felt about me so randomly. I was either a good influence on her son or I was dragging him down to hell. It was always shaky ground and thin ice with her. If things had worked between him and I, I would've been one of those with mother-in-law horror stories, I'm sure of it. His siblings generally looked down on me, or at least sideways, as well.

But HP's parents like me. His siblings and I get along. He actually says I talk to them more than he does (and it's true). It is a very real possibility that I'll have great in-laws. And other than one small wrinkle that should be ironing itself out already, I imagine HP will be able to say the same thing.

So why am I still worried about them liking me when I see them in a few weeks?


TRS said...


I've met some boyfriend's parents fairly early on.

But mr Burns and I have known one another for 2.5 years already and he's just now booking a trip to take me to meet his family. Unfortunately, his dad died when we were dating only 4 months. (that's part of why he held out)

He met my brother and his family when they came out for a ski trip. But my parents... sigh... that's another story! Still working on that one.

Roxie said...

I've decided to take them a loaf of my homemade bread. Not because it will prove I'm domestic enough to get married, but because everyone likes homemade bread.